i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Randomize