Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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