I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
