his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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