The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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