im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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