I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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