I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
