Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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