i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
