ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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