I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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