Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
