bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
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