I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize