Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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