I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
