I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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