Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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