Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?

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(207): View more from Maine

He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.

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(707): View more from California

And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa

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(207): View more from Maine

I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options

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(949): View more from California

when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.

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