i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
