I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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