I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize