thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Welp...herpes.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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