Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
They took my balls.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
