They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
