If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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