I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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