Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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