he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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