Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize