I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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