i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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