He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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