Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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