I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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