My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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