I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
