remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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