The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
