Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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