i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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