well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
