I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize