Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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