wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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