bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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