Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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