I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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