I wanna bring you to show and tell
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
