he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
