this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
