she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
