he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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