her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
