I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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