Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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