No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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