Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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