I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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